This made me laugh out loud – literally: The United Federation of “hold my beer, I got this”. From the link, the part that kicked my gigglebox completely over (edited for clarity):
Klingons: “Okay, we don’t get it.”
Vulcan Science Academy: “Get what?”
Klingons: “You Vulcans are a bunch of stuffy prisses, but you’re also tougher, stronger and smarter than humans in every single way. Why do you let them run your Federation?“
VSA: “Look, this is a species where if you give them two warp cores they don’t do experiments on one and save the other for if the first one blows up. This is a species where if you give them two warp cores, they will ask for a third one, immediately plug all three into each other, punch a hole into an alternate universe where humans subscribe to an even more destructive ideological system, fight everyone in it because they’re offended by that, steal their warp cores, plug those together, punch their way back here, then try to turn a nearby sun into a torus because that was what their initial scientific experiment was for and they didn’t want to waste a trip.
“They did that last week. We have the write-up right here. It’s getting published in about six hundred scientific journals across two hundred disciplines because of how many established theories their ridiculous little expedition has just called into question. Also, they did turn that sun into a torus, and no one actually knows how.
“This is why we let them do whatever the hell they want.“
Klingons: “…Can we be part of your Federation?”
Hat’s off to “roachpatrol,” the author of that bit. That’s funny right there, I don’t care who you are… And the rest of the thread is as well. Especially:
There is a phrase in Vulcan for “the particular moment when you understand what the word ‘fuck’ is for.”