Working on a LONG Post.

Which just got eaten by a Firefox crash. And I was depending on Blogger’s autobackup to save me. Guess not. Dammit.

Y’all will just have to wait a bit longer.

You would think after five years I’d learn to BACK UP MY WORK. But noooooooo!

South Park on the Mormon Religion.

As I mentioned below in Everything I Needed to Know About Mormons I Learned on South Park, Matt and Trey did a fairly accurate recollection of the history of Joseph Smith and the creation of the Book of Mormon in a South Park episode. Apparently search engines work, because I received this commercial email from the marketing firm 360i a couple of days later:

Hello,

I noticed your post from a few days ago about the Romney Mormon speech and how everything you needed know about Mormonism you learned from South Park. I definitely have to say that’s true for me too 🙂

I know you’re out of town right now, but I wanted to let you know that the folks over at Comedy Central’s Indecision 2008 blog thought that, in light of today’s big speech, they’d resurrect the classic episode.

Check out these (historically accurate, I swear) South Park clips:
http://www.indecision2008.com/blog.jhtml?c=v&m=93189

Feel free to share with your readers, and let me know what you think!

Cheers,
Orli Sharaby
360i on behalf of Comedy Central

Sure enough, there are three short clips, so if anyone’s interested, please enjoy.

But bear in mind Gary’s admonition.

Everything I Needed to Know About Mormons.I Learned on South Park

I listen to the Hugh Hewitt show on my 45-50 minute drive home every afternoon. My options are Mark Levin, Hugh, or Michael Savage, unless I want to listen to music. Occasionally I do listen to music, but I find talk radio more interesting. Generally. (Mark Levin’s voice is fingernails on a chalkboard to me, and I’d rather bathe vigorously with sulfuric acid and stainless steel wool than listen to Savage.)

Hugh is fully in the tank for Mitt Romney for President, so he spends a lot of time talking about his guy. Apparently Romney is going to give a speech later this week which is going to be on the topic of his religion as it relates to his candidacy. I guess it’s a point of dispute with some since Romney’s a Mormon. Anyway, Hugh, outraged, played a sound-bite of CNN’s Jack Cafferty sounding off about the upcoming speech. There’s a clip of it up at RadioBlogger. Let’s see if I can transcribe it:

The Mormon Church is shrouded in a certain amount of mystery, and, and secrecy – if you’re not a Mormon you can’t go into the temples – If he doesn’t address the Mormon aspect in this speech then he might as well not give it. We’ve, we’ve got a poll that shows about one-fifth of prospective voters that say they would be less likely to vote for a candidate who is a Mormon than they would for a candidate who isn’t. It’s the Mormon in Mitt Romney that matters to America’s voters, and if he’s not going to lift some of the veil and explain away some of the mystery that surrounds his religion, which as Gloria points out is a very small percentage of the population of this country – it’s not like he’s a Catholic or a Protestant or a Lutheran or a Methodist or a Baptist – there aren’t that many Mormons and there’s a lot of questions surrounding that church. He needs to address that or this speech is a waste of time.

Wow. There’s a lot of… idiocy there. For one thing, Jack, Lutherans, Methodists, and Baptists are all Protestants. Second, there aren’t that many Jews in this country either. Did Joe Lieberman need to make a speech explaining Judaism to America? You know, about baking the blood of Gentile babies into bread and such? Insofar as I am aware, if you are not a Muslim, you’re not supposed to enter a Mosque (though I could be wrong on that one.)

But in point of fact, the Mormon religion is not shrouded in mystery, nor is it all that secret. You see, everything you need to know about Mormonism has been (rather accurately, from what I’ve been able to determine) explained in a single half-hour television show – South Park. In fact, you can still download the 2003 episode and watch it on your computer if you’d like!

The episode spends about 90% of its airtime reciting and ridiculing the history and beliefs of the Church of Latter Day Saints, with quite good effect I must add.

But it is the ending of that episode that I was reminded of when I heard Jack Cafferty’s idiocy. During the episode, Mormon beliefs and history are explained to the character Stan, who is visiting the family of the new kid at school, Gary. After listening and ridiculing “The Story of Joseph Smith” as related by Gary’s father, Gary explains patiently to Stan:

Look, maybe us Mormons do believe in crazy stories that make absolutely no sense, and maybe Joseph Smith did make it all up, but I have a great life. and a great family, and I have the Book of Mormon to thank for that. The truth is, I don’t care if Joseph Smith made it all up, because what the church teaches now is loving your family, being nice and helping people. And even though people in this town might think that’s stupid, I still choose to believe in it. All I ever did was try to be your friend, Stan, but you’re so high and mighty you couldn’t look past my religion and just be my friend back. You’ve got a lot of growing up to do, buddy.

Now I am an atheist, as I’ve made plain on more than a couple of occasions. To some extent this whole thing is, to me, an argument over who has the better imaginary friend. But I do recognize that I am a member of a very small group as well. I won’t be voting for Mitt, but not because he’s a Mormon. I won’t be voting for Huckabee, but not because he’s a Baptist minister. (Actually, I can’t vote for either of them since I’m registered as a Democrat in Arizona.) The fact that these men believe in an invisible friend – however devoutly – is not really germane to me, though.

But Jack Cafferty? He’s got a lot of growing up to do, too.

Will Brown Would Like Some Advice.

Constrained by range limitations he’s looking to build a short range precison rifle:

My thought here is to discover what options I might pursue, with a gun I already own, to turn it into a reliable shooter at it’s ballistic practical extreme, that I can also fire at a local known-distance outdoor range. I own a Marlin 983S that I intend to use as the basic platform, with which I can shoot 3/8 inch groups (from a rest) at 25 yards indoors without a scope (ie: the gun’s basic accuracy exceeds my ability to shoot it).

If you have some thoughts on the topic, perhaps you can head on over and give him some suggestions.

Here’s a Voice I Thought I’d Never Hear

I guess Bill Cosby‘s having an effect after all. Well, Cosby, Shelby Steele, Walter Williams, Thomas Sowell and a few others are apparently finally beginning to have an effect. In a Fox Sports column, Kansas City Star sportswriter Jason Whitlock says what he thinks, replayed here in full for archival purposes:

Taylor’s death a grim reminder for us all

There’s a reason I call them the Black KKK. The pain, the fear and the destruction are all the same.

Someone who loved Sean Taylor is crying right now. The life they knew has been destroyed, an 18-month-old baby lost her father, and, if you’re a black man living in America, you’ve been reminded once again that your life is in constant jeopardy of violent death.

The Black KKK claimed another victim, a high-profile professional football player with a checkered past this time.

No, we don’t know for certain the circumstances surrounding Taylor’s death. I could very well be proven wrong for engaging in this sort of aggressive speculation. But it’s no different than if you saw a fat man fall to the ground clutching his chest. You’d assume a heart attack, and you’d know, no matter the cause, the man needed to lose weight.

Well, when shots are fired and a black man hits the pavement, there’s every statistical reason to believe another black man pulled the trigger. That’s not some negative, unfair stereotype. It’s a reality we’ve been living with, tolerating and rationalizing for far too long.

When the traditional, white KKK lynched, terrorized and intimidated black folks at a slower rate than its modern-day dark-skinned replacement, at least we had the good sense to be outraged and in no mood to contemplate rationalizations or be fooled by distractions.

Our new millennium strategy is to pray the Black KKK goes away or ignores us. How’s that working?

About as well as the attempt to shift attention away from this uniquely African-American crisis by focusing on an “injustice” the white media allegedly perpetrated against Sean Taylor.

Within hours of his death, there was a story circulating that members of the black press were complaining that news outlets were disrespecting Taylor’s victimhood by reporting on his troubled past

No disrespect to Taylor, but he controlled the way he would be remembered by the way he lived. His immature, undisciplined behavior with his employer, his run-ins with law enforcement, which included allegedly threatening a man with a loaded gun, and the fact a vehicle he owned was once sprayed with bullets are all pertinent details when you’ve been murdered.

Marcellus Wiley, a former NFL player, made the radio circuit Wednesday, singing the tune that athletes are targets. That was his explanation for the murders of Taylor and Broncos cornerback Darrent Williams and the armed robberies of NBA players Antoine Walker and Eddy Curry.

Really?

Let’s cut through the bull(manure) and deal with reality. Black men are targets of black men. Period. Go check the coroner’s office and talk with a police detective. These bullets aren’t checking W-2s.

Rather than whine about white folks’ insensitivity or reserve a special place of sorrow for rich athletes, we’d be better served mustering the kind of outrage and courage it took in the 1950s and 1960s to stop the white KKK from hanging black men from trees.

But we don’t want to deal with ourselves. We take great joy in prescribing medicine to cure the hate in other people’s hearts. Meanwhile, our self-hatred, on full display for the world to see, remains untreated, undiagnosed and unrepentant.

Our self-hatred has been set to music and reinforced by a pervasive culture that promotes a crab-in-barrel mentality.

You’re damn straight I blame hip hop for playing a role in the genocide of American black men. When your leading causes of death and dysfunction are murder, ignorance and incarceration, there’s no reason to give a free pass to a culture that celebrates murder, ignorance and incarceration.

Of course there are other catalysts, but until we recapture the minds of black youth, convince them that it’s not OK to “super man dat ho” and end any and every dispute by “cocking on your bitch,” nothing will change.

Does a Soulja Boy want an education?

HBO did a fascinating documentary on Little Rock Central High School, the Arkansas school that required the National Guard so that nine black kids could attend in the 1950s. Fifty years later, the school is one of the nation’s best in terms of funding and educational opportunities. It’s 60 percent black and located in a poor black community.

Watch the documentary and ask yourself why nine poor kids in the ’50s risked their lives to get a good education and a thousand poor black kids today ignore the opportunity that is served to them on a platter.

Blame drugs, blame Ronald Reagan, blame George Bush, blame it on the rain or whatever. There’s only one group of people who can change the rotten, anti-education, pro-violence culture our kids have adopted. We have to do it.

According to reports, Sean Taylor had difficulty breaking free from the unsavory characters he associated with during his youth.

The “keepin’ it real” mantra of hip hop is in direct defiance to evolution. There’s always someone ready to tell you you’re selling out if you move away from the immature and dangerous activities you used to do, you’re selling out if you speak proper English, embrace education, dress like a grown man, do anything mainstream.

The Black KKK is enforcing the same crippling standards as its parent organization. It wants to keep black men in their place — uneducated, outside the mainstream and six feet deep.

In all likelihood, the Black Klan and its mentality buried Sean Taylor, and any black man or boy reading this could be next.

Mr. Whitlock is most definitely not another Laura Washington. You’ll notice he doesn’t blame the gun, or call for more gun control. He doesn’t blame the people who didn’t kill Sean Taylor. He points at CULTURE, “the rotten, anti-education, pro-violence culture our kids have adopted” as the underlying cause of “when shots are fired and a black man hits the pavement, there’s every statistical reason to believe another black man pulled the trigger.” Mr. Whitlock sees the same data Ms. Washington and Rev. Michael Pfleger do:

African Americans have plenty of motivation. According to a recent report by the U.S. Justice Department, nearly half the people murdered in the United States in 2005 were black. Most lived in cities and were felled by guns. While blacks make up about 13 percent of the nation’s population, they comprised 49 percent of all murder victims.

The Rev. Michael Pfleger knows the numbers.

But they reach different conclusions:

In June, Pfleger and (Jesse) Jackson were arrested for criminal trespassing during a protest outside a gun shop in a Chicago suburb. Pfleger, pastor of St. Sabina’s, an African-American Catholic Church on Chicago’s South Side, has been crusading for stricter regulation of gun shops and manufacturers. Pfleger is in agony over the 34 school-age children in Chicago who were killed by gun violence in the first six months of 2007.

St. Sabina’s 2,200-member congregation is 70 percent female. Pfleger, who happens to be white, is recruiting the pastors at neighboring churches to get into the fight. “The church should be leading the path,” he says. “Women are much more vocal. I believe partly because of their sensitivity to the murder of children. Historically, women are much more progressive. That’s why churches are so vital, because women make up the main membership.”

Amen, Father.

Get those ladies organized, and watch out!

Pfleger and Washington blame the guns. Whitlock blames the culture. I asked Laura Washington a question a while back:

I venture to guess that the 2,200 members of St. Sabina’s are 70% female because there’s a distinct lack of older black males, in part because of the epidemic levels of violence have been ongoing for so long. But let me point out that the 34 school-age children who died in Chicago were not killed “by gun violence,” they were killed by young black men firing guns. Young men who live in those very communities. The sons and grandsons, the nephews and neighbors of those congregations.

Pardon my asking, Ms. Washington, but don’t you think all those churches and those women could be far more effective at reducing the truly horrific carnage if they addressed their efforts directly at the young men in question, rather than at the suburban and rural white men who are not?

Unsurprisingly, she didn’t respond. I think perhaps Mr. Whitlock might agree with me.

UPDATE: Read the commentary here. Perhaps Iraq is not the only place where attitudes are changing.

UPDATE: Jesse Jackson, of course, blamed guns:

“The loss of life from a senseless act of gun violence is a tragedy,” says Rev. Jackson. “Sean Taylor was a father, brother, teammate, friend to many and a loving son. He will be greatly missed.”

—

“Professional athletes have never known this level of endangerment,” Rev. Jackson said. “This is the struggle of this generation. We will be praying for new laws that will protect lives and the well-being of all.”

(*sigh*)

“Leave Brittney, I Mean Afghanistan, ALOOOONE!!”.

That’s the first thing I thought of when I heard this report that Bin Laden has taken full responsibility for the 9/11 attacks and is asking the European powers to stop their assistance in Afghanistan.

I shortly expect a YouTube video of Bin Laden, crying, in heavy, running mascara and with his head under a piece of canvas whining “You want to attack Afghanistan, you come through ME!“

I noticed he apparently didn’t say a thing about Iraq.

Quote of the Day.

I own a couple of guns, but I’m not going to tell you what they are, or where they are.
– Fred Thompson, CNN YouTube Debate, 11/28/07

That’s the right answer.

And Congressman Hunter? It’s not about hunting, and it’s not about “family tradition.”

NOBODY else owned a gun? Not even RON PAUL?!?!? I thought it was a prerequisite for being a libertarian?

(h/t: SayUncle)

Ridicule is the Best Revenge.

I thought Iowahawk’s “My Name is Rather, and I’m a Dick” satires were classics, but I believe he’s topped himself with “BoxBux Sux as Stix Hix Nix Xmas Flix.” Classic excerpt:

Chicago Sun-Times film critic Roger Ebert, who gave glowing, 5-star reviews to each of the films, said he was not surprised by their poor financial performance.

“It’s sad, but hopefully these wonderful films will do much better in the overseas market,” said Ebert. “No matter how much down inside they know how Christmas is wrong, and Santa is wrong, it’s hard for Americans to see their elves portrayed in a balanced, realistic way, as tragically haunted sadistic pederasts. By contrast European filmgoers are much more sophisticated and educated, so they eat that shit right up.”

Go, read!

P.S.: “There’s got to be a pony in there somewhere.” Oh. Damn!