Tag: miscellaneous

Yes, I heard about the Missouri mall shooting.

Yes, I read Dan Simpson’s wet-dream op-ed on banning guns in America.

Yes, I read Walter Shapiro’s Salon op-ed on repealing the Second Amendment.

Yes, I’ve heard all the buzz about George “It’s Not My Fault!” Tenet’s new book. Yes, I know about his vivid recollection (both in print and on 60 Minutes) of meeting with Richard Perle in the White House on 9/12/01, and being shocked upon hearing Perle tell him that “Iraq bears responsibility” for 9/11. Except that Richard Perle was in France on 9/12… Stuck on the ground there until flights were again allowed on 9/15. Which leads me to wonder what else the Director of the CIA could be wrong about?

Yes, I know that Fred Thompson is considering running for President. Yes, I know the first debate between the Democrat contenders for the Oval Office in 2008 recently took place, and yes, I know that they all flew to South Carolina on individual private jets – and then stood there and talked about “conservation.” Except Kucinich. I’m pretty sure he used alien technology and teleported.

Yes, I know that the weekend overpass accident on California’s I-580 conclusively disproves Rosie O’Donnell’s assertion that “I do believe that it’s the first time in history that fire has ever melted steel.” Damn, Rosie! It happened again! (Maybe this whack job will learn something, too.)

Yes, I know that “global warming” is accelerating and threatens to completely destroy the South polar ice cap – on Mars. We need to send Al Gore there to give a speech.

Yes, I know that gas is approaching $3 per gallon. I just spent the last three weeks in California. Regular unleaded is going for about $3.35 in the Oakland area.

I’m pretty up-to-speed on current events. I’ve noted that others are covering it quite well – and, to be honest, I’m pretty burned out at the moment. I have nothing nice to say, and I’m not in the mood to be snarky. I’m pretty much in a “burn it all down” mode at the moment, at least where it comes to society. The new job is pretty good, though, so I’m devoting my energies to that.

Let me close with this piece I received by email this morning. It’s entitled “The Speech President Bush Should Give.”

Normally, I start these things out by saying “My Fellow Americans.” Not doing it this time. If the polls are any indication, I don’t know who more than half of you are anymore. I do know something terrible has happened, and that you’re really not fellow Americans any longer.

I’ll cut right to the chase here: I quit. Now before anyone gets all in a lather about me quitting to avoid impeachment, or to avoid prosecution or something, let me assure you: there’s been no breaking of laws or impeachable offenses in this office.

The reason I’m quitting is simple. I’m fed up with you people.

I’m fed up because you have no understanding of what’s really going on in the world. Or of what’s going on in this once-great nation of ours. And the majority of you are too damned lazy to do your homework and figure it out.

Let’s start local. You’ve been sold a bill of goods by politicians and the news media. Polls show that the majority of you think the economy is in the tank. And that’s despite record numbers of homeowners including record numbers of MINORITY homeowners. And while we’re mentioning minorities, I’ll point out that minority business ownership is at an all-time high. Our unemployment rate is as low as it ever was during the Clinton Administration. I’ve mentioned all those things before, but it doesn’t seem to have sunk in.

Despite the shock to our economy of 9/11, the stock market has rebounded to record levels and more Americans than ever are participating in these markets. Meanwhile, all you can do is whine about gas prices, and most of you are too damn stupid to realize that gas prices are high because there’s increased demand in other parts of the world, and because a small handful of noisy idiots are more worried about polar bears and beachfront property than refinery capacity and your economic security.

We face real threats in the world. Don’t give me this “blood for oil” thing. If I was trading blood for oil I would’ve already seized Iraq’s oil fields and let the rest of the country go to hell. And don’t give me this ‘Bush Lied People Died’ crap either. If I was the liar you morons take me for, I could’ve easily had chemical weapons planted in Iraq so they could be ‘discovered.’ Instead, I owned up to the fact that the intelligence was faulty. Let me remind you that the rest of the world thought Saddam had the goods, same as me. Let me also remind you that regime change in Iraq was official US policy before I came into office. Some guy named ‘Clinton’ established that policy. Bet you didn’t know that, did you?

You idiots need to understand that we face a unique enemy. Back during the cold war, there were two major competing political and economic models squaring off. We won that war, but we did so because fundamentally, the Communists wanted to survive, just as we do. We were simply able to outspend and out-tech them.

That’s not the case this time. The soldiers of our new enemy don’t care if they survive. In fact, they want to die. That’d be fine, as long as they weren’t also committed to taking as many of you with them as they can. But they are. They want to kill you. And the bastards are all over the globe.

You should be grateful that they haven’t gotten any more of us here in the United States since September 11. But you’re not. That’s because you’ve got no idea how hard a small number of intelligence, military, law enforcement and homeland security people have worked to make sure of that. When this whole mess started, I warned you that this would be a long and difficult fight. I’m disappointed how many of you people think a long and difficult fight amounts to a single season of ‘Survivor’.

Instead, you’ve grown impatient. You’re incapable of seeing things through the long lens of history, the way our enemies do. You think that wars should last a few months, a few years, tops.

Making matters worse, you actively support those who help the enemy. Every time you buy the New York Times, every time you send a donation to a cut-and-run Democrat’s political campaign, well, dammit, you might just as well Fedex a grenade launcher to a Jihadist. It amounts to the same thing.

In this day and age, it’s easy enough to find the truth. It’s all over the Internet. It just isn’t on the pages of the New York Times or on NBC News. But even if it were, I doubt you’d be any smarter. Most of you would rather watch American Idol.

I could say more about your expectations that the government will always be there to bail you out, even if you’re too stupid to leave a city that’s below sea level and has a hurricane approaching. I could say more about your insane belief that government, not your own wallet, is where the money comes from. But I’ve come to the conclusion that were I to do so, it would sail right over your heads.

So I quit. I’m going back to Crawford. I’ve got an energy-efficient house down there (Al Gore could only dream) and the capability to be fully self-sufficient. No one ever heard of Crawford before I got elected, and as soon as I’m done here pretty much no one will ever hear of it again. Maybe I’ll be lucky enough to die of old age before the last pillars of America fall.

Oh, and by the way, Cheney’s quitting too. That means Pelosi is your new President. You asked for it. Watch what she does carefully, because I still have a glimmer of hope that they’re just enough of you remaining who are smart enough to turn this thing around in 2008.

So that’s it. God bless what’s left of America. Some of you know what I mean.

I got this T-shirt for my birthday this year:

Sometimes, though, it’s just not funny. That speech should be funny too, but a big part of me says “He ought to do it.”

The fourth Blogiversary of TSM is in a couple of weeks. I promise, I’ll be posting again before that. What kind of mood I’ll be in I cannot predict.

Things I’ve Learned.

It’s always a good thing to learn something new. So far with this new job, I’ve learned two things with certainty: Skype is damned cool and works great, and the Chevy HHR is a good example of why GM is losing money.

I’m in California for some training, and the company uses Skype for internal long-distance communication. If you’ve got anything even resembling broadband, it’s terrific. I have a Chevy HHR rental – that’s GM’s copy of the Chrysler PT Cruiser.

I don’t know about the PT Cruiser, but the ergonomics of the HHR suck. It’s got adequate power and is very roomy inside, but I just don’t fit. The beltline is too high and the door post is located so as to make it impossible for me to put my arm out the window. It’s a little buzzy, and it just feels cheap. The sun visors are damned near useless – they cover almost half the windshield when down, but don’t cover really any of the side windows if you try to position them there. Driving into a setting sun is an experience, let me tell you. Either you hunch over to look under the thing, or leave it partway up so that it’s aimed at your forehead like a knife blade. Either that, or you just leave it up and squint. I won’t be renting another one, I hope.

Thus concludes today’s filler post. Time for bed.

This Week’s Post: The Weird 24 Movie Meme.

(Found at Mostly Cajun)

1. Name a movie that you have seen more than 10 times.

Star Wars without a doubt.

2. Name a movie that you’ve seen multiple times in the theater.

Star Wars again. Probably four of the at least ten times I’ve seen it.

3. Name an actor that would make you more inclined to see a movie.

There are several. Denzel Washington, Robin Williams, Wesley Snipes, Harrison Ford to name a few.

4. Name an actor that would make you less likely to see a movie.

Jane Fonda, Sean Penn, Tim Robbins, Susan Sarandon to name a few. Doesn’t mean I won’t see a movie they’re in, but the chances of me spending $8.50 to see it in a theater are slim.

5. Name a movie that you can and do quote from.

Monty Python and the Holy Grail: “Listen, strange women lyin’ in ponds distributin’ swords is no basis for a system of government. Supreme executive power derives from a mandate from the masses, not from some farcical aquatic ceremony.” “Help! Help! I’m being repressed!”

6. Name a movie musical that you know all of the lyrics to all of the songs.

Can’t help you there.

7. Name a movie that you have been known to sing along with.

Here either.

8. Name a movie that you would recommend everyone see.

Monty Python and the Holy Grail – I know it’s not everyone’s cuppa, but if you’re warped enough to enjoy it, you’re my kind of person!

9. Name a movie that you own.

I’ve got a few dozen. I did wait until George “Lucifer” Lucas re-released the original Star Wars trilogy in their original theatrical release edits (no “enhanced special effects,” no “director’s cut”) before I bought them in DVD format.

My VHS tapes were about worn out. My grandson is a major fan. (And my wife is sick of all three of the films.)

10. Name an actor that launched his/her entertainment career in another medium but who has surprised you with his/her acting chops.

Robin Williams. I knew he was a stand-up comedian before Mork & Mindy, and I was working in a theater when he did Popeye and thought that the man actually could act under all those appliances. When he did The World According to Garp I said (I swear!) “This man’s going to win an Oscar some day.”

11. Have you ever seen a movie in a drive-in? If so, what?

We saw a lot of movies at the drive-in when I lived in Florida – mostly Disney films. Couldn’t name one for certain now.

12. Ever made out in a movie?

No, can’t say that I have.

13. Name a movie that you keep meaning to see but just haven’t yet gotten around to it.

9/11 – I don’t know that I’m ready to see that one yet.

14. Ever walked out of a movie?

Oh hell yes. The first one ever was Highlander II. What unmitigated dreck!

15. Name a movie that made you cry in the theater.

Confession: I cry at a lot of movies. So what?

16. Popcorn?

Every time. With butter.

17. How often do you go to the movies (as opposed to renting them or watching them at home)?

Depends on what’s playing. I worked in a movie theater my senior year in High School and my freshman year of college, so I like the “theater experience” of seeing a movie on the big screen. But recently the pickings have been very poor, so we go to the movies maybe once every month or two.

18. What’s the last movie you saw in the theater?

300 – My wife wants to go see it again.

19. What’s your favorite/preferred genre of movie?

Action – aka “blow-up movie,” as in “that blowed-up real good!” I like well-done SciFi movies too, but they’re as rare as hen’s teeth.

20. What’s the first movie you remember seeing in the theater?

I know I saw movies in the theater before this one, but the one that sticks in my brain is The Posiedon Adventure in 1972. I was ten. The theater was packed. My best friend and I had to sit almost front-row off to the right side of the screen, and it was still riveting. (Hey, I was ten.)

21. What movie do you wish you had never seen?

Alien³, Rocky V, and most other sequels.

22. What is the weirdest movie you enjoyed?

Edward Scissorhands – I like Tim Burton films, and they tend to the weird. I like Johnny Depp, and so does he.

23. What is the scariest movie you’ve seen?

Alien – the best combination: SciFi and horror done to the n^th degree. I was so tense through that movie that my abdomen ached the next day.

24. What is the funniest movie you’ve seen?

Without doubt, Monty Python and the Holy Grail – funny from the opening credits all the way to the end.

Molon Labe!.

My wife and I went to see 300 today. It was a pretty good crowd for a Sunday after-matinee show, and we were not disappointed. Good performances, special effects that fed the story and didn’t distract from it, and a good plot. (It’s a well-known historical piece, hard – but not impossible – to screw up.)

I will say one thing further. I found this review (via Rotten Tomatoes) to be amusing. Money quote:

These Spartans are equal parts John Rambo, Conan the Cimmerian, and John McClane. I feel comfortable enough in my (relative lack of) masculinity to say that if I had to stand in the presence of these men for more than ten seconds, I’d spontaneously grow a pair of ovaries.

Let’s just say my wife enjoyed it far more than she’d anticipated.