Dept. of Our Collapsing Schools, “Professional” Educators Division

Looks like the light-bantamweight division, actually. Reader Stephen Rider emailed me the link to this one, via Acidman’s little girl, Savannah Sam. When was the last time you heard about a teacher assaulting another teacher? Much less, in front of her class? It’s a short story, but a classic one:

Teacher Vs. Teacher In Alleged Classroom Brawl
Police Say Mom Angry After Teacher Reprimanded Daughter

POSTED: 5:20 pm CDT April 4, 2005
UPDATED: 5:21 pm CDT April 4, 2005

DALLAS — A Dallas high school teacher is facing an assault charge after she allegedly attacked another teacher in front of a classroom of students.

Police said Paulette Baines assaulted her daughter’s teacher inside a middle school classroom.

Baines allegedly grabbed the woman’s hair, yanked her out of a chair and dragged her across the room while punching and kicking her.

That teacher suffered a concussion, two broken ribs and several bruises on her face.

Investigators said Baines was angry at the teacher because the woman allegedly reprimanded her daughter — asking the girl and several other students to stop loitering at their lockers.

Baines was released from jail Saturday after posting a $2,500 bond.

She is now on paid administrative leave.

Hmm…

A concussion, two broken ribs, and numerous contusions. I’d say that was assault, and battery. Apparently a room full of students is insufficient witness for the NBC affiliate to dispense with the “alleged” language.

But I just love the “paid administrative leave” part. If I opened a can of whoopass on one of my coworkers, my ass would be out on the street – with no pay – after I floated bail. But not if you’re an employee of the public sector, oh no! Tax money isn’t like real money, and you get hot and cold running lawyers on tap for free! No doubt she’ll get sentenced to “counseling” and be right back in the classroom fv*king up little middle-school minds.

Meanwhile the other teacher will sue not her attacker, but the people with deep pockets – the taxpayers – and will undoubtedly win a nice juicy settlement. And the litigation nation will continue its swirling path around the commode bowl a bit longer, a bit faster, and a bit lower.

And my grandkids are five and six. One goes into kindergarten next year, and the other into 1^st grade. God help them.

(Yes, I’m an agnostic. It’s just an expression.)