Today’s “Honey-do” List:.

1. Pick up a birthday card for my sister.

2. Get a gift for her too.

3. Get a birthday gift for a family friend (we’re having a combo-b’day meal this evening.)

4. Go through all the paperback books and decide what we’re keeping. (We’re paring down due to lack of space. We’re paring down a lot.)

5. And I quote: “Get all the shit out of the kitchen.” (Lots of boxes and assorted crap from the remodel.)

6. Go to the dump. (With all the crap from the kitchen and garage.)

7. Wash clothes. (I think she’s joking here. She hates the way I do laundry.)

8. And I quote: “Clean the back yard before 2008.”

9. Get the Mustang back in the garage. (Note that this comes after “Clean the back yard before 2008.” The Mustang – not in running condition – has been parked in the driveway for the last ten weeks, under a car cover.)

10. Get rid of the trees. (In the back yard. Don’t ask.)

11. Be nice to your wife. (She’s being funny again. I think.)

12. Get all of the gun sh!t out of the garage. (Again, note that this comes after that 2008 deadline. Hmmm…..)

I’m supposed to sign the list.

I’m afraid.

I’m very afraid.