LEARNING OCCURRED

Author Larry Correia shared this on FB, and as education is a major topic on this blog, I wanted to share it here.

I remembered this story because of that dumb socialist meme we were all making fun of earlier. It got big enough it needed its own post. This is about how the only good thing I ever did while drafted to be a Cub Scout leader was to teach a bunch of kids about how capitalism works.

So I had a group of about a dozen boys, and the merit badge was something about finances and fiscal responsibility, but looking at the lesson it was pretty weak, basic, and boring, so I decided to spice it up a bit by calling upon two of my great loves: Accounting and Role Playing Games.

(Yeah, it sounds super dorky, but accountants make the best power gamers. Accountants are all number crunching min-maxers anyway)

So the boys get there that night, and I’ve got a game prepped. I’ve printed out stacks of fake money and bought bags of Halloween candy. I explained that the candy could be purchased during the game using the money. The candy represented “entertainment and luxuries”.

The way I set it up was that I gave the kids different career and educational options. Some paid more up front, but with limited opportunities for advancement. I made education cost money and take time.

And then each turn, I gave the kids money based upon their job.

First turn was hilarious, as the kids who have jobs that paid $10 only got $7, and I explained how taxes worked! All of them were like “What a rip off!” And I was like, oh, kids, we are just getting started, life is a series of nut kicks.

Then I made the kids budget. I had a list of expenses on the board, housing, food, transportation, insurance (and this one would come up again later). And whatever money the kids had left at the end they could use to buy candy! $1 got them a little fun size bar.

So the first few turns go the way you’d think, with the kids going nuts and immediately spending all their leftover money on candy bars. The smarter ones were getting suspicious though and starting to squirrel away money for later though.

Then I pulled out the Random Encounters table and my 20 sided dice. Oh, you kids thought that all there was too this was me feeding you candy? Oh no. Shit’s about to get real. And then I start rolling. Uh oh, you broke a tooth and need to go to the dentist. Give me a dollar. Your car broke down and needs a repair.

So now the kids are having to spend money on all those expensive things that happen in life. Only most of them don’t have savings because they’ve been spending it all on candy. Which was when I explained the concept of DEBT. 😀

So now I’m playing the bank/credit card company too, and I am super happy to give them extra dollars this turn! So they pay off their expenses. Some of the dumber kids get loans and use it to buy more candy. One kid actually surprises me and asks if he can use the loan to buy more education so he can get a better paying job next turn. HELL YEAH YOU CAN.

But then next turn for the kids who took out loans, in addition to yanking out the $3 for taxes, I also yank out an additional $1, and now I explain how interest works. Oh yeah, and this is just the interest. You still owe me $1, and I’m going to keep pulling out $1 every month until you pay me that back. And the kids were like, WHAT THE HELL MAN! THIS IS BOGUS.

And I’m like, no kids, this is Discover Card. Pay up.

So now things have gotten grim. The kids who didn’t delay gratification can no longer afford to buy candy bars. They have discovered that paying interest sucks.

Kids are getting smart. My car is broken? What if I take the bus. Okay. That’s thinking. I’ll give you that.

The random encounters table keeps pulling up events. Some are good. Some bad. This isn’t fair, they say. EXACTLY. Life isn’t fair. You lost your job. Instead of the $7 you were expecting, here is your $3 unemployment check this turn. “Good thing I’ve got savings!” High five.

And to accentuate how unfair life is, at that point I started having CANDY SALES! So now instead of $1 to buy a candy luxury, this turn the candy store is offering TWO FOR THE PRICE OF ONE! The kids who have been building up savings are all excited, because their delayed gratification early on is now paying off big time. But the kids who glutted themselves early on are selling plasma in order to pay their interest payments and couldn’t take advantage of the opportunity when it came along.

And this is the moment when truly amazing learning occurred, because some of the kids saw an opportunity and started investing by buying excess candy when it was cheap, and then selling it to the other kids later for a profit. I hadn’t even thought of that when I was putting this together! One in particular cornered the market on the more popular Reeses and Butterfingers, and then sold those to kids who didn’t want inferior Tootsie Rolls for a profit.

Remember that thing about how one of the budget items was insurance? Well after several turns of it not being used, a few of the kids figured they just wouldn’t pay that one, and it would give them more candy money… Oh, how I had been waiting for someone to blunder into that trap. Because then when a serious medical emergency came up on the table I was taking fistfuls of money from them.

Some kids intuitively grasped the time value of money, delayed gratification, and return on their investment. Others absolutely choked. Of the 12 kids, we had one who we decided wound up in prison after he turned to a life of crime (candy theft), and another one who ended up crazy rich because he built a Twix trading empire. Some had terribly expensive random encounters, fixed what went wrong, and eventually got more candy, while others just fell apart and complained how the game wasn’t fair.

Bingo. And it never will be. Better get ready to handle your shit. Learning has occurred.

Now this story may cause some butt hurt among a certain section of the populace who believes in an archaic economic system which has been hot garbage, but to humor you if I had done a socialist version of this game I would’ve just declared a couple of them to be winners and given them the whole bag of candy, thrown a few others in the gulag, and then declared everyone was dead of starvation three turns in.

For the record though I was a terrible Cub Scout leader. I don’t do the whole singing, cheers, play dress up, rah rah thing, and I’ve got zero patience for crying. But I’ll be damned if I didn’t rock the Budget Badge (also, years later I still get drafted to do the rifle one).

EDIT. and I just realized I still had my son’s money pile from this game in my desk! 😀 here’s a pic: