I Need to Find This Store!!

If you’re not familiar with Tony Woodleif’s Sand in the Gears, you ought to go spend some time in his archives. As I’ve mentioned before, I love the written word and Tony is another artist in this medium. Unfortunately, he doesn’t tend to post much.

He did today, though, and it is a true gem.

Tony writes about needing to go pick up some cowboy guns for his boys for Christmas, the difficulties he ran into, and the answer to his predicament. A taste:

But I couldn’t find guns. I wandered up and down aisles until I spotted a salesman. “Excuse me,” I said, “where can I find cowboy guns?”

“Oh. We don’t sell those.” He looked at me as if I had just asked him for nipple clamps, or perhaps a Bible. His voice was tinged with the self-righteousness of people who announce to others that they recycle, or that their children attend Eugene V. Debs Elementary because they believe in supporting the public schools.

“So basically we’re becoming France, right?” He saw neither the truth nor the humor in this observation.

—

There was one place left, one final hope for a man intent on arming his children, in fine American fashion, for Christmas. The hobby shop.

I was greeted by a gruff bearded man. He could smell the panic on me, like a grizzled sergeant can smell it on a soldier in his first battle. “Something I can do for you, son?”

“Yes. Please. Please, for the love of all that remains good about America, tell me that you carry toy cowboy guns. Just a couple of cowboy guns is all I’m asking for. Toys R Us doesn’t have them, Wal-Mart doesn’t have them . . .” My voice trailed off.

He sized me up, perhaps to see if I was one of those pansy do-gooder Public Citizen types just looking to make trouble. Fortunately I hadn’t shaved, and I was wearing flannel. “C’mon,” he said with a gleam in his eye, “we just got in a shipment.”

They just got in a shipment.

Read the whole thing. It will leave a huge smile on your face, I promise.