More Anti-gun Bigotry

I found this through Northwest FreeThinker. It seems a blogger for Salon, a fellow Arizonan, got all bent out of shape when he saw an old man open-carrying in his local Whole Foods or its equivalent. He wrote a blog post about it, entitled “Gunfight at the Shopping Cart Corral.”

It went viral throughout the open-carry community. That piece, or at least a long excerpt from it, is posted at We The Armed. Please go read. A second piece, “National Quick-Draw Contest” was also written. These two essays resulted in irate comments and what the author, Alan C. Baird, states were not one but two “death threats.”

“Reasoned Discourse” broke out. The author flushed not one but both of the essays. As is normal, protests that his First Amendment rights were violated have been invoked.

So I dropped Mr. Alan C. Baird an email this evening. Here it is:

Mr. Baird

I’m sure by now you’re probably sick of the subject, but please allow me to add one more voice to the cacophony inspired by your recent pieces on the carriage of firearms in Arizona.

You just experienced the backlash from what Dr. Michael S. Brown described in 2000 as “a decades-long slow-motion hate crime.”

Unfortunately, I didn’t get to read the whole piece, merely the excerpt at the “WetheArmed” forum (I assume it was an excerpt. Surely you weren’t finished?) but do you really think these words were not insulting?

“Don’t look. He might shoot.”

“…some corpulent 80-year-old a**hole was standing in front of the donut peaches, packing a pistol.”

“80-year-old” is descriptive. “Corpulent” is descriptive. “Packing a pistol” is descriptive. But unless he was wearing an “I am an Asshole” t-shirt, the last is merely an illustration of your personal prejudice. This is known where I come from as “bigotry.”

“Not a law enforcement guy, just some retired jerkoff who evidently wanted to enhance the perceived size of his schlong.”

Now, just out of curiosity, how could you tell that this jerkoff – er, gentleman wasn’t, say, a retired law officer? And what is it that makes “law enforcement guys” somehow better than non-law enforcement guys when it comes to carrying a weapon? This too illustrates your bigotry. And what is it with you people and penis size? If you believe that gun owners own guns to compensate for the size of their wedding tackle, does your desire to disarm everyone mean you want yours cut off?

…when I saw that gun in the grocery store, steam started shooting from my ears.

Why, exactly? Could you please explain that to me? Feel free to use big words, I have a college degree. In something useful.

I marched up to the front office and loudly demanded to see the manager. When he arrived, I was apoplectic….

I’m very glad you don’t own a gun. Obviously have anger control issues and you’re not a stable person. I’m beginning to understand why you don’t like to see other people armed – you think they’re just like you, and lack of self-control is “normal.” I assure you, it is not.

Oh, the manager lied to you (he might not be aware of it, but he’s wrong). There’s no law that states that any business cannot post a “no firearms” sign. It’s perfectly legal. Stores are private property, and they may post to their heart’s content. They just run the risk of losing business.

I pulled out the big guns: “Displaying a gun is an implied threat of violence.”

Not when it’s “displayed” on someone’s hip in a holster. Pulling it out and waving it around, known legally as “brandishing,” is. Oh, and I love your double entendre there, “pulled out the big guns.” Cute metaphor, pen being mightier than the sword and all.

I notice you weren’t willing to test that theory here.

“Guns are just murders waiting to happen.'”

Really? All of mine must be defective, then. This too is bigotry.

“If he’s psycho enough to wear a gun in a grocery store, he’s psycho enough to use it. All of us would end up on the evening news, looking like Swiss cheese.”

Wow, you are such a bigot! Do you hate black people too? Replace “gun owner” with the “N” word, and you’re expressing precisely the same hatred of a minority group. I seem to recall there was a penis-fixation component in that bigotry, too.

Here are some examples for you to review of elderly people compensating for their tiny shriveled-up “fazes”:,0,7201060.story

If you only read one of these links, read the last one. An 82-year-old a**shole, er, woman is attacked in the parking lot of a Wal-Mart in Sierra Vista. I’m betting she’s not retired from any police department. I’m sure that prior to this assault most people believed that the worst criminals in that area were jaywalkers, too. At worst, shoplifters. That didn’t stop her from being assaulted there severely enough to put her in the hospital for a few days.

Her handgun stopped the assault, though. Was she compensating for the size of her penis?

Perhaps if she’d been wearing her penis, er, handgun exposed, her attacker would have picked a different victim. Had she not been carrying her handgun, perhaps her walking stick might have been “a murder waiting to happen.” Her assailant said words to the effect that he planned to kill her before he took it from her and began beating her with it.

Mr. Baird, you’re a bigot. An angry bigot. You are prejudiced against guns, and by extension the people who own and carry them. You have very little self-control, and you believe that’s normal – you must be normal, right? Therefore no one should own a gun, much less carry one – except for those who collect a government paycheck. Somehow that distinction makes them special, different, trustworthy.

Would you like a list of links about corrupt, murderous cops?

Mr. Baird, I too am a resident of Arizona. I live in Tucson. I’m a gun owner, and I possess a Concealed Carry permit (though those are no longer strictly necessary since Arizona became the third “Constitutional Carry” state.) I’m a recreational shooter. I try to get to the range at least a couple of days a month on the weekends. I run a bowling-pin match at the range I belong to every second Sunday of the month. I’m also a blogger. I run The Smallest Minority, and this letter will be posted there in its entirety – with links – as soon as I hit “send.” A few thousand people will see it. It will probably generate some more mail. Sorry about that, but hey, you reap what you sow.

My blog has open comments. In over seven years, I think I’ve only banned two commenters, and I’ve NEVER flushed a post down the memory-hole.

In closing, I think it might behoove you to get some psychiatric help. Work on your bigotry, your fear of firearms, your self-control issues, and your curious fixation on things penile. Also your hatred of your fellow man. If you don’t, you might end up strapping on a firearm and calling out an 80-year-old a**hole who might blow your penis off with his .45 in self-defense.

Trust me, I know some old guys who can SHOOT.

Kevin Baker, proprietor,

P.S. – The First Amendment does not protect you from the public consequences of your own words. It protects you from government infringement in the expression of your thoughts and ideas. You know, where armed agents of the State come and tell you to shut up – or else. If you’d like, drop me a line and we can discuss it.

Somehow I doubt I’ll hear from Mr. Baird, though I’d love for him to come to the November 6 Blog Shoot.

Joe Huffman has a piece up on the topic, too.

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