I See Darwin is Still With Us or FIRE IN THE HOLE!

Man’s horror firecracker injuries

AN horrific firecracker accident which left an Illawarra man incontinent and unable to have sex has prompted warnings from police and health authorities.

The 26-year-old man suffered a fractured pelvis and severe burns to his genital area after a firecracker exploded between the cheeks of his buttocks.

An ambulance was called to Dapto’s Reed Park about 2.30am on August 10 after reports that the man was haemorrhaging from the buttocks. He was transported to Wollongong Hospital in a serious but stable condition, and he is expected to remain in hospital for several months.

The man suffered extensive injuries from the explosion and required emergency surgery. He now has a colostomy and a catheter, and is sexually dysfunctional.

He will be assessed by a colorectal surgeon to determine whether his injuries can be corrected.

Illawarra Health emergency surgeon Dr Robert McCurdie, who operated on the man when he was taken to Wollongong Hospital, likened the man’s condition to “a war injury”.

Dr McCurdie said he believed the man had stumbled while the firecracker was in his buttocks, and fell down on it.

“By virtue of the fact that the explosion was confined in an upward direction, it went up into his pelvis, blasted a great hole in the pelvis, ruptured the urethra, injured muscles in the floor of the pelvis which rendered him incontinent.

“His pelvis was also fractured,” Dr McCurdie said.

He said he had never seen a similar injury to the genital area before.

“I have seen instances … where people have tried to remove items from their rectum and rupture the sphincter muscles, but not anything like this,” he said.

It is not known whether the man had been imitating the cult prankster film Jackass, a hit in the United States.

In the low-budget film, the men place firecrackers in their buttocks and they shoot into the air.

There’s more, but you get the idea.

A bit more chlorine in the gene pool.