Let’s Pick on the Amish

Just kidding. I came across an interesting thread in the rec.guns newsgroup on the Amish and firearms. It seems that the Amish, while pacifists, do use modern firearms for hunting. Learn something new every day. So, of course the jokesters came out to play. Here are some highly offensive jokes at the expense of another culture:

(Armed Amish homeowner confronting a burglar)
“I am Amish, and I cannot harm thee.

“But thou standest where I am about to shoot.”

What goes clippity-clop, clippity-clop, bang, clippity-clop, clippity-clop?
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An Amish drive-by.

What do you call a man with his arm up a horses ass?

An Amish mechanic!

And then there was the Amish man who took his young son into the big city so he could see first-hand the temptations of Mammon.

They walked into a large modern building and watched as a shriveled, decrepit old lady hobbled into a small room in the lobby. The shiny metal doors slid closed and an illuminated number above them counted up to ten and then returned back to one. The shiny metal doors slid open again and a stunningly beautiful woman stepped out of the small room.

The Amish man thought about this phenomenon for a few seconds and turned to his boy. “Son, go fetch your ma.”

I’m gonna smoke a turd in hell for this, aren’t I?

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